


20 Years Is A Long Time For Fate

by Wiccan507



Category: Marvel Cinematic Universe
Genre: Angst, Assassin Clint Barton, Brief kidnapping and torture, M/M, Self Confidence Issues, Soulmate AU, The Winter Soldier - Freeform, Time Skips
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-05-24
Updated: 2016-05-24
Packaged: 2018-06-10 08:45:50
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 6,969
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6949159
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Wiccan507/pseuds/Wiccan507
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>The five times Clint Barton met his soulmate, The Winter Soldier, and the time he met Bucky Barnes.</p>
            </blockquote>





	20 Years Is A Long Time For Fate

People always looked at Clint with pity in their eyes. They always assumed he didn't have a soulmate as most people met their soulmates by the time they were 25. The truth of it was Clint had met his soulmate a really long fucking time ago, it just didn't matter. So, he let people think he was alone and wonder about his soulmate, some thought they must have died, some thought they just didn't want him and others thought he was just destined to be alone. He didn't care what they said and in some cases what wasn't said, people expressed more than they wanted through the eyes, but he accepted the decisions he and his soulmate had had to make.

*****

By the time, he was 20 Clint knew he was a walking disaster, an insurance claim waiting to happen, an accident on legs, but this was just ridiculous.

It had been a night like any other, the Circus lights small in the distance as he walked away from them. He'd finished his act hours before and as usual, he left the tents behind and walked to the highest point in the area. The air was cold around him and he pulled his jacket tighter around himself.

His breath was visible in the cold air and he tried to find the best place to sit and just watch the world when he heard voices ahead of him. He should have turned away, should have gone back down to the circus, but no one ever said he made the best life decisions. With every step he took, an ache started to settle into his chest, it felt like it was growing through his body, making his fingers itch like they were waiting for him to pick up his bow.

"Please." It was quiet to his ears and it should have made him turn away, but someone could be in trouble so he pushed some branches out of the way and came out into a clearing. Four men were kneeling on the floor in front of a single man. His long hair hung over his face, his body was covered in jeans and what used to be a whole t-shirt. The men were begging the man for their lives and Clint should leave, he should turn and run and never look back, but his feet were moving him forward and he couldn't stop himself. The ache was in every part of his body and he knew what this was, faintly remembers his parents describing it to him when he was younger. One of these men is his soulmate, which means he's either about to watch his soulmate die or his soulmate kill four men, he's not entirely sure which one he prefers.

One of the men notices him and he pleads with him to help them. If he had his bow, he could try, but the man in front of them is too big and Clint can see the light bouncing off his left hand, he doesn't know if it's his weapon or his hand, the light available doesn't reveal enough.

Clint barely has time to take in another breath as the man raises his arm and shoots each of the men, a single shot to each of their heads. They all crumple to the floor and the ache stays in his body and his soulmate just killed four people.

The man turns to look at him and he quickly realises his soulmate is probably about to make the body count five. The man takes a step towards him and he's frozen to the spot, his feet won't let him move and he doesn't know what he should do right now. His mother never told him what to do if his soulmate was a killer, she probably never thought it was necessary. The man pulls something off his face and only now does Clint realise he has a mask on, the goggles are removed to reveal his eyes and Clint kind of hates himself for thinking they're beautiful.

What is he doing? He should be running not thinking this guy is beautiful.

The guy stands in front of him, leaning in close enough that Clint thinks he's going to complete their bond, but then the man is pulling back and running towards the trees. The next thing he knows is there's a light blinding him and people screaming at him to get on the ground and he just runs. He finally moves and it's probably the worst time to decide to do that because now he looks guilty as fuck.

He doesn't have a plan right now, the plan wasn't even to run, why the hell had he ran? He needed a real plan, somewhere to run to, he couldn't stay with the circus, the police would track him easily. He was going to have to run away, it wasn't like he could tell them the truth. Oh hey, don't worry, it wasn't me that killed them just my soulmate!

The plan, get back to his tent, grab his stuff and his bow, then leave the circus forever.

*****

He's not really sure how his life had gotten to this point. Well, he knows how he partly got here, his soulmate killed four people and then Clint was implicated for it. That led to him being on the run, which led to this point of his life. He'd put his skills to use and become an assassin, it wasn't his first choice of job, but it was all that was available to him while there were people out looking for him. The past few years of killing people for money probably hadn't helped, though.

All of this is what led to him meeting his soulmate for the second time in his life. The ache he'd felt the first time had never left his body, it had settled in the middle of his chest and stayed there.

He was on a job, the mark had done something that wasn't to be tolerated, Clint never asked, he just needed to know who to shoot and he'd take care of the rest.

So, there he was, laying on the roof across from the guys apartment building waiting for his nightly visitor to leave. Clint had been watching the man for three weeks and he knew that his girl tonight was the last of the week, then he'd spend two days sitting on the couch and watching TV. It would give Clint enough time to get out of the country before anyone even realised the mark was dead.

His fingertips started to tingle and he put it down to the cold air and flexed his fingers against his rifle. The tingling spread up his arms and he had to push himself up and away from his weapon as pain shot down his right arm. The ache in his chest pulsed and he swung his head around till he saw him, his fucking soulmate. The man was on the building behind him and Clint didn't know what to do. He should probably yell at him or something.

Before he could even move there was a pop and then a sting in his right arm and then a quiet crack behind him. His soulmate nodded his head at him and started packing up his gun, Clint checked his body, hands running over himself to check for injury, but he was all right except for a cut across his bicep. Oh god no, he turned to look at his mark and the man was slumped over in his chair, dead.

His soulmate killed his target. He'd killed his target and shot him in the process!

That asshole.

*****

Clint's life was never a simple one, but there was something that he'd finally figured out. His soulbond. The great important bond that tied him to his soulmate forever, he'd started working it out after the soldier had taken out his mark back when he was 25.

It had taken as long as he'd thought it would, but he knew the ache was always going to be there as long as his soulmate was alive. The closer they were together the more persistent it would get, itching for them to complete the bond. So, Clint had planned his revenge, some may say it was a petty thing to spend four years doing, but he did it anyway. And he'd worked out how to use the bond to his advantage, he's used it to track his soulmate around the world.

All he wanted was to take what he was owed, a mark. If his soulmate got hurt in the process then so be it, it wasn't like his soulmate had been careful with him either. Shooting him in his damn arm. That was his livelihood!

So, he'd tracked the bond, and he'd found his soulmate. The man was staying in a hotel just outside of the city, it was a rundown place and easy to break into. Clint waited till the guy left the building, he usually left at 4 am to follow his target, Clint knew he was working out the guys schedule. It just so happened that Clint had spent a few days working out his soulmates schedule as well. He waited 15 minutes before dropping down to the rooms window, his bag strap pulled tight across his chest, and slipped inside.

The room was pretty empty, the quilts had been pulled from the bed and placed underneath the window, and Clint made sure to land away from it. There were some weapons under the mattress, he didn't have to look to know they'd be there, there weren't many hiding places in the room and it's exactly what he would have done. Making his way into the bathroom, he kicks the edge of the bath panel and smiles when it comes loose. Dropping his bag onto the floor, he pulls the panel out and drags out the large box from under the bath.

This is precisely what he was looking for, the soldiers rifle. He drags his bag closer to himself and pulls out his modified rifle, it'll weigh and look exactly the same as the soldiers, but it won't shoot for shit. Clint switches out the weapons and tucks the box back under the bath, replaces the panel and leaves the hotel room exactly as he found it.

His plan comes together a week later. Hopefully, the soldier wouldn't have checked his rifle in that time, Clint knows there's a high chance he will have, but he's hoping he's thrown the soldier off enough that he didn't. For the past week, he's been following the soldier, close enough to keep the bond noticeable, he knows his soulmate feels the same as he does and Clints fingers haven't stopped tingling, the ache in his chest has turned into a constant pulsing. It has to be distracting the soldier.

He follows the soldier to the targets home and he watches as the man sets up his weapon, and Clint does the same at a much further distance. He knows that if this works, he's gonna need to run.

The soldier lays down on the roof, and Clint has to force himself to not laugh when the soldier pulls back to look at his weapon. The soldier turns to look at him and Clint can't help himself he wiggles his fingers in a wave before firing his weapon, the bullet grazes the soldiers cheek and Clint hisses as the same cut appears on his cheek. The target goes down inside his apartment and Clint salutes The Winter Soldier before running away and leaving everything behind.

The weapon wasn't his anyway.

  
*****

At 33 years old Clint had met his soulmate three times and each time had been more terrifying than the last. If it wasn't his soulmate killing someone, it was Clint getting shot or it was Clint deciding to challenge The Winter Soldier. Even with all that, Clint just couldn't understand how this had happened, it wasn't like he hadn't paid attention to his soulmate over the years. The Winter Soldier was a force to be reckoned with, so Clint really couldn't understand how the bad guys had captured him. Himself, he wasn't so confused about, they'd used a dog against him.

Now, he and his soulmate are shirtless with their hands chained to the ceiling above. With a terrifying moment of clarity, Clint realises he's never seen this much of his soulmate nor has he spent this much time with the man.

"So, you look pretty tied up over there." The man doesn't say anything just stares at the floor, his long hair falling over his face. "I'm not saying you have to talk to me, but we're probably going to be here for a while." His soulmate tipped his head upwards and for the first time, Clint realised the man's usual mask had been removed. This was the first time Clint saw his whole face and even in this situation the man was ridiculously beautiful.

"Try not to scream."

"What?" Was that a threat? Was he just threatened by his soulmate?

"They'll like that." The door to the room creaked open and a smaller man walked into the, a tray in his hands, and followed by a much larger man. The small man placed the tray on a table Clint hadn't noticed and turned to face them.

"I'm glad you could join us, gentleman." Clint couldn't stop himself from snorting, was this guy for real?

"Something funny?"

"You. Your whole classic villain look. I mean a menacing tray of medical implements, really?"

"Don't worry these aren't for you. You're here because we want to find out if The Winter Soldier is truly as dead inside as they say."

"Well, he ain't called The Winter Soldier for his sunny disposition."

"You amuse me, Hawkeye. In fact, you amuse me so much, I'm going to share something with you. The world has such an obsession with soulmates that you wouldn't believe the research that's gone into it. One thing they've found is that once soulmates have acknowledged the bond, it becomes an ache in them and if that bond stays incomplete then it heightens everything. Especially, when the soulmates are close to each other, like you two."

"You're not suggestin' this guy an' me-"

"Mr Barton- can I call you Mr Barton?"

"Whatever makes you happy."

"Don't take me for an idiot. You're a great assassin, Mr Barton, as is the soldier here, but unlike you his slip was more noticeable."

"Is this your plan? To bore us to death?" The small man laughed out loud at his words and Clint knew he wasn't that funny. The man turned and picked up a scalpel from the tray and walked over to The Winter Soldier.

"You see Mr Barton," the blade was pressed against the soldiers chest and Clint could feel it against his own, "no one sees's this machine and lives, but you, oh you are something special." The blade is dragged down the soldiers chest and Clint bites his tongue as his own skin splits and blood trickles down. "You compromised him, Barton. The most terrifying man in the world and all it took was a circus act to bring him down."

"I'm impressed, I've never met anyone that could fit so much disdain into circus act, but you should know I was a performer you ass." The man didn't even bother giving him a response, this time just chose a different part of the soldiers chest and sliced. Clint tried to hold onto the soldiers earlier words, his only words and kept his mouth pressed shut.

After cutting and slicing at their chests, the small man seemed to grow tired of his game and turned to Clint with a smile. This was not looking good for either of them.

"Maybe, I'm going about this all wrong."

"How so?"

"Well, I did all this research into soulmates and into you and I thought that torturing both of you was the way to go. But maybe, I just need to torture you."

"Well, if the past half hour has revealed anything, then that's not possible."

"Not for ordinary people, no, but I doubt it's escaped your attention that your soulmate is missing something that you aren't," the words sent a chill down his spine and his soulmate's eyes flicked up to meet his. "Caught up yet?"

"Picking on a guy with one arm, you really are the lowest of the low."

"This arm is magnificent, all power, made to kill. But, do you know what's the best thing about it?"

"It's stylish?"

"He doesn't feel anything in it, shall we see if the it's the same for you." The smile drops from the bad guys face and he stabs the scalpel into the area where the metal arm starts and Clint yells, he stands by that he yells and doesn't scream. He shouldn't do either, the soldier told him not to but fuck him and his shitty threatening warning. He grits his teeth as the pain in his shoulder spreads and he stares into the bad guys eyes.

"Motherfucking fucker, I'm gonna fucking kill you. Just you fucking wait till I'm free of these chains and I'm gonna rip the arms of your stupid tiny body, seriously what are you a child? You look ridiculous and I'm gonna shoot you with so many arrows you won't even be able to see your body anymore. But since your so tiny, I'll only need like five." The Winter Soldier is looking at him and he's never seen someone look so confused in his entire life, and that's saying something.

"Do you really never shut up, little bird?"

"Little bird! Hawkeye. Hawkeye! I'm a trained marksmen, I shall have you know you piece of shit. I am a big fucking bird, there is nothing little about me."

"Is that so?"

"Oh, you wanna check me out! Go for it, take a peek at my big bird." A quick look at the soldier showed that the man had no idea what was going on. He was probably wondering how he'd lost control of the situation, that is if he ever actually had control of the situation.

"I can say, that in all the tests I've done, I've never been propositioned when someone's soulmate is in the room."

"Well, I shall say congratulations to you as this is the longest we've ever been in the same room."

"How fascinating? And you haven't suffered yet? Odd, my other subjects started feeling the effects after only a few weeks of separation. I wonder what makes you two so special?"

"Apparently, nothing. I'm clearly too small to have something special." The bad guy looks very annoyed at Clints bitterness, but it's his own fault, he shouldn't have called him little. He isn't little, he's just as big as everyone else. The bad guy turns to look at the soldier and if Clint could punch someone right now, he would punch this guy.

"If you both live through this, I must wish you good luck Winter Soldier, this man is a little-"

"Little what, huh? What am I?"

"handful. I was going to say you'll be a little bit of a handful."

"Oh, so that's all I am? A handful? First, I'm promised a dog and now I'm just a handful! Come over here right now and I'll show you a handful." The guy walks over to him and once he's close enough Clint pulls himself up, screaming for his injured shoulder, bends his body till his legs are on either side of the guys head and squeezed as tight as he can before twisting and dragging the bad guy down to the floor. The muscle guy goes to attack him, but before Clint can even react there's a metal hand wrapped around the guys throat and choking him.

"Let me guess, this was all part of your plan?" The soldier drops the muscle man and looks over at him.

"I'm sorry you got caught up in this."

"Eh, they promised me a dog wasn't really your fault."

"Yes, it was."

"Can you do me a favour and save the pity party till later and get me down?" The soldier hesitated to move towards him and Clint understood, he really did because after thirteen years their bond was about to be complete. They were going to have skin to skin contact and that would be it, the bond would be there forever. But his arm is really fucking hurting him right now and that pain is blocking out any feelings of self-preservation.

"I could find a sheet."

"I just really don't want to be here anymore."

"Okay." The soldier wrapped his metal arm around his waist, taking some of the strain of his arm, their chests pressed together and warmth burst through both of them. The feeling of incomplete bond disappeared and it was replaced by pure heat and Clint gasped at how overpowering it was. There was a crack above him and then his arms were being lowered down to his side, and this was the most ridiculous situation he'd ever been in. His soulmate, The Winter Soldier for fuck sake, was cradling his arm and making sure he didn't hurt him.

"Are you okay?"

"I've had worse."

"We need to get out of here."

"Lead the way."

That night was the single most terrifying of Clints life. The bond between them was complete and Clint knew it would be that much harder to be separated, but if tonight had proved anything then it would have to be that way to keep them both alive.

*****

It had been 5 years since Clint had seen or heard from his soldier. The last time he'd seen him had been after they'd both been kidnapped and tortured, he still had the scars to prove it. Clint isn't ashamed to admit that he had passed out shortly from the pain in his arm and the soldier had ended up carrying him to safety.

He'd woke up a few hours later to the soldier presses bandages over his wounds. The man had sewn up the deeper cuts and the hole in his arm, before getting him in a position that had been mostly comfortable considering their situation. They had been in a small shack in the god damn middle of nowhere and the soldier had stayed with him for two days before Clint had woken up one morning and the man was just gone.

He'd heard stories of soulmates who had gone insane without their soulmates, or people who'd just completely shut down if they had to go a long time without each other. So, Clint had been expecting it to happen to him, but nothing ever did, the pleasant warm feeling he had gained when the soldier touched him had transformed back into an ache in his chest, but other than that nothing.

A lot had changed for him over the past few years, he was no longer an assassin, well he was but now he was working for an organisation. S.H.I.E.L.D had recruited him after he'd been involved in a rather unfortunate national incident in a country he has now been banned from entering or talking about apparently. Although he's not entirely sure if they can actually stop him from saying the name of the country, they would have to monitor him at all times. Which just seems highly unreasonable and a waste of time.

"Keep thinking that hard and you're gonna hurt yourself."

"Thanks, Nat." Natasha Romanoff was also something that had changed, he'd recruited her four years back and she was his best friend. He'd like to think he was hers as well, but with Nat, you never really knew where you stood.

"Welcome. Wanna talk about it?"

"Do you wanna talk about why you've spun that pen around so much there's now a hole in my table?"

"Fair enough." They sat across from each other at the table, looking over the latest mission report and coming up with the best course of action. Lately, they rarely did a mission without each other, whether it was because they worked so well together or because no one else wanted to work with them they'd never know.

"Do you- nevermind."

"Nat, if we're gonna do this mission we need clear heads."

"Do you ever wonder if you have a soulmate?" That was not a question he'd been expecting.

"No. Do you?"

"I've, erm..."

"We don't have to talk about it."

"I've killed a lot of people, sometimes I wonder if- but that has nothing to do with this mission. So, the mission." He didn't push her for more, he knew she wouldn't talk about it unless she wanted to and there was no point making her uncomfortable.

"The mission."

The mission was a simple retrieval and they just had to get in and then get out with the target. The target being a biological engineer who was developing technology that could potentially kill millions. They'd caught wind of it after intercepting a series of coded messages in the comments section of a youtube video.

It wasn't even that hard to capture the guy, Clint let Natasha handle it and the guy was literally falling at her feet.

"Did you have to punch him like that?"

"Like what?"

"Like you were holding back," Natasha grinned at him as she hauled the engineer up and threw him in the car.

"Unfortunately."

They were on their way to the airport when their back tyres were shot out and they skidded off the road. The ringing in Clints ears amplified as he came back to the situation, he'd hit his head on the steering wheel and he could feel blood dripping down his face. Natasha's door was open and when he looked out the window, he could see her using her body to cover the scientist. He stared down at his hands as they started to tingle and his breath was pushed out of him as the ache changed into warm pleasure. No, Nat.

"Nat! Natasha!" She turned to look at him and he heard the pop of a gun before Nat and the scientist were both falling back. The car door on his side wouldn't open so he crawled over the seats and practically fell out of Nat's door to get to her. He ran to her side and dropped painfully to his knees beside her.

"Nat?"

"Fuck. Where's your gun?"

"I don't know."

"He's coming, Clint." His whole body felt warm, and he turned to see The Winter Soldier, his soldier stalking towards them. "Clint, get a weapon."

"I'm sorry."

"For?"

"I'm about to do something dumb." With that, he pushed up and started walking towards the soldier. Natasha shouted his name behind him, but he just kept on walking towards the man, his usual mask covered his face, so Clint had no way of knowing what was going through his mind.

"I know you're not going to kill me. If you'd wanted to you would have 18 years ago when we first met. So, it's not my life I'm pleading for, it's hers. I don't care if you finish the scientist, but she's my best damn friend and I can't lose her." The soldier falters in his steps and he reaches up to pull off his mask.

"I've never met you."

"Yes, you have. I'm your soulmate."

"You're lying."

"I know you can feel what I feel. That warmth means we've completed our bond, and the only way to do that is if we've met before. You don't have to remember me, but I can't lie about this feeling." He stepped forward, slowly, giving the other man space to move away from him, "I can't lie about this." He slipped his hand over the only visible skin of the soldier and heat spread up through his fingertips and the soldier stared down at his own hand.

"You're..."

"Please don't kill her."

"It's my mission."

"He's your mission."

"There can't be any witnesses." His soldier still hadn't taken his eyes off their hands and Clint knew he still had a chance to save them both.

"We're spies, assassins, we're not regular witnesses. You don't have to kill her, just him."

"Take her and go." His soldier pulled his hand free and pushed him back towards Nat.

"Thank you." He didn't want to leave him, he knew the man was taking a big risk letting them go, but there was no other choice. He ran back to Nat, who looked positively furious at him, considering she'd just been shot by someone else. They'd only been walking for five minutes when they heard the firing of a gun. Don't look back, Clint, you can lie if you never saw your soulmate actually kill your target.

"So, your soulmate is The Winter Soldier?"

*****

He was absolutely 100% not freaking out. It was just Steve had called a few hours ago to say they were bringing Bucky to the tower. Bucky, who happened to be Steve's best friend, who also happened to be The Winter Soldier and Clints soulmate. So, he wasn't freaking out, because Steve didn't know that, no one knew that Clint was fated to be with Bucky Barnes. He didn't even know if Bucky knew they were fated to be together.

After everything that had happened, Steve had gone to look for Bucky and after 6 months he'd found the man or the man had let himself be found nobody really knew. But, Steve had come round the day before and explained everything he knew. Bucky had been kept as a weapon for Hydra, they'd kept him in stasis until they needed him and wiped his memory each time.

So, Clint wasn't freaking out, he was just worried for Bucky. The man had to know he'd met his soulmate, he could probably feel it and Clint wondered if he thought his soulmate was one of his victims.

"Stop worrying."

"I'm alright."

"Liar. Even if he doesn't remember you, he'll know the feeling."

"How did you know?"

"I'm your best friend, I can tell what you're thinking." Tony's AI interrupted any conversation they were about to have.

"Clint?"

"Yes, FRIDAY?"

"You asked me to tell you when Steve returned. Well, he's coming up the elevator now."

"I can't do this, Nat. I've gotta go!" Nat didn't stop him from leaving the room, she knew he needed time and fresh air. Fresh air sounded perfect so he made his way to the roof of the tower and laid down.

It's been 20 goddamn years since he met his soulmate and up until 6 months ago he didn't even know the man's name. They hadn't even kissed, Clint didn't even know if Bucky wanted to kiss him. Oh god, what if Bucky didn't even want him? What if Clint reminded him of his old life too much? Clint should just avoid him, it would be better for Bucky if he avoided him.

           The plan to avoid Bucky wasn't going very well since he'd moved into the tower the bond was incredibly insistent. That meant that every time he tried to go somewhere he end up wherever Bucky was and it was driving him insane. It didn't help that Bucky would definitely know he was avoiding him now, of course, that hadn't been helped by Clint diving back into the elevator when he saw the man.

           That was why Clint was spending, even more, time than usual on the roof of the tower. It was easy to lose himself in the faint noise of the city and the way the wind flowed over his body as he laid there.

A crunch of gravel brought his attention back to his surroundings and he didn't bother opening his eyes, he knew who it was from the warm feeling spread across his body. He heard a small gasp from above him and he opened his eyes to look at Bucky.

"Are you alright?"

"Sorry, I've just never felt this, us, without the other crap in my head."

"Need to sit down?"

"Yah." Bucky dropped down beside him and Clint pushed up so they were in matching positions. Bucky pulled his knees up, rested his arms on top of his legs and dropped his head forward. Clint could hear him taking in some deep breaths and he slid his hand up Bucky's back and stroked along his spine. The man tensed under him for a moment before relaxing into the movements.

"You've been avoiding me."

"Noticed that have you?"

"Yesterday you climbed out the window."

"It- It was faster than the stairs." It was a bad excuse and they both knew it. "I guess we should talk or something."

"Should we? I mean we should, of course, but do we have to right now. Couldn't we just not."

"Whatever you want."

"Is it what you want?"

"I wouldn't mind having a little more time to figure things out."

"Okay, so we agree. We'll just hang out in silence." Clint nodded and laid back down against the roof, Bucky turned his head to look at him and curled his fingers into Bucky's shirt and pulled him back. The man fell back willingly and pillowed his head on Clints arm. The wind rushed around them and they watched as the sky changed from blue to purples and reds.

           After that night, they'd reached a tentative friendship, neither of them was really sure how to act around each other. Most soulmates bonded immediately and worked everything out after so they didn't really know what to do now. Clint was living in a world where he'd know Bucky for 20 years and Bucky was living in one where he couldn't even remember them completing their bond.

They were sitting in the kitchen, Bucky eating his breakfast while Clint looked over their recent mission reports when Bucky decided he was ready to talk about it.

"I don't remember you." A puff of air left Bucky's lips and Clint didn't know if the man was happy to finally get it off his chest or if he was annoyed with his own lack of tact. "Before I ran, I heard them talking about you. They wanted to kill you."

"I am pretty dangerous." Bucky didn't look at him, he just kept his gaze on his cereal, but Clint could swear the man's mouth turns up at the corners.

"They were worried about your effect on me." The memory of being trapped with his soldier flashed before his eyes.

"I compromised you."

"Every time, apparently. I guess the bond was stronger than their control and that scared them." Clint thought about all the times he'd met Bucky and how many times Hydra would have punished him for leaving Clint alive.

"I'm sorry that- I'm sorry I left you with them." Bucky's head snapped up and Clint swallowed at being on the receiving end of that glare.

"Clint, you didn't leave me with them."

"I did, I'm your soulmate and I'm supposed to protect you. I was meant to fight for you and I left. Every time. I'm the reason you got hurt Bucky, you should hate me."

"Clint, I don't know what happened between us, but, you were the only choice I ever got to make and I could never hate you for that." This line of conversation was starting to make Clint uncomfortable so he took it in a different direction.

"Does Steve know?"

"I haven't told anyone, I didn't know if you'd want people to know. Have you?"

"Nat knows, but only because we had a run in with you a few years back. You let us escape."

"Surprised Hydra didn't kill me for that."

"I thought they had once."

"What? When?"

"A long time ago now, but we were both kidnapped and tortured, I killed one of them and you killed the other. That was the night we completed our bond, you carried me to safety and stitched up my wounds. Then you were just gone. For five years nobody had seen or heard from you and I thought they'd killed you."

"Is that how we met?" Clint swallowed around the lump in his throat and met Bucky's eyes over the table.

"No. We first met when I was 20."

"Ho- We don't have to discuss this if you don't want to."

"Do you want to know our history?"

"I would like to, but if it's too hard for you we can stop."

"It's okay. Erm, so, I used to be in the circus, and after my show I'd always go out on my own and just get some air. It's where I got my name actually, The Amazing Hawkeye, I never missed a target."

"You were what? 20?"

"Yeah, but I was already the best. Only better now that I'm older, I can definitely give you a run for your money."

"Oh, you think so?"

"You don't remember this, but I have beat you before."

"You did not." Clint's lips spread into a smirk and he leant over the table to stroke a finger long Bucky's cheek.

"This scar here, the same one I have, I shot your target and 'grazed' your cheek as well. It was my revenge for this," he dropped his hand down to the faint line on Bucky's arm and stroked his fingers across it.

"I did that to you?"

"Yep. You killed my target as well."

"Do we have all the same..."

"Not all of them. We only share the scars we got when we were nearby."

"So, the circus?"

"Yeah, so I'm out for my after show walk and I hear these voices. I walked towards them and I could feel our bond."

"How did it feel?" The words were spoken so quietly, Clint knows he would have missed them if he hadn't been staring at Bucky.

"I felt it in my- my hands first, like were itching to pick up my bow and there was this buzz in my chest," he spoke quietly, "and it would have been smarter to turn away and leave, but I've never claimed to make the best choices. And I saw you standing over these four guys, and I was terrified. I had no idea which of you I was supposed to be, and my soulmate was either about to be killed or a killer."

"Were you disappointed?"

"I was relieved. You killed four people and I was relieved. I should have also turned around and run then as well, but my feet just wouldn't move. I don't think I really wanted to move anyway."

"Why not?"

"I thought you were beautiful. When I looked at you, everything else just fell away. Of course, you then ran off and that led to my life of crime."

"You're in this life because of me?" The words were whispered in the space between them, and Clint suddenly realised there wasn't all that much. He hadn't even realised they'd been leaning towards each other.

"It's not a bad thing, Bucky. I've got more now than I ever thought possible and I may have the strangest family, but I wouldn't change my life."

"Not your life, but if you could, would you change- change me?" Bucky kept his eyes trained on the table and Clint slipped his fingers under the man's chin and gently lifted his head.

"Bucky, I would never change you, and I know that's selfish because you went through a lot of awful shit, but you are here and that's what matters to me."

"I guess this makes me selfish too."

"How so?"

"Cause I'm glad you had to take up a life of crime, otherwise I might never have met you."

"Bucky?"

"Hmm."

"Can I kiss you?" Clint felt Bucky nod as their noses brushed and he closed the last of the space between them to press their lips together. Warmth spread through them and Clint curled his fingers in the sleeve of Bucky's shirt. Bucky's hands were curled around his biceps and he twisted his body around the table so he could get closer. They pulled back from each other's lips and Clint sucked in a breath before slowly opening his eyes. Bucky was breathing hard and his eyes were still closed and his hands were squeezing his biceps.

"Is that how it felt when we completed the bond?"

"No, this was better. So much better."

"I don't want to forget this."

"You won't. I'll make sure of it."

"You sound pretty sure of yourself."

"I am. If someone tries to hurt you, they gotta go through me first and I won't miss." Strong arms wrapped around his waist and Clint settled himself into Bucky's lap, the man still hadn't opened his eyes. He uncurled his fingers from the man's shirt and traced the lines of Bucky's face with his fingers. The man sighed and tipped his head back as he let Clint stroke over his face.

"I keep thinking I'm going into this too fast. I've only known you for a few weeks, but you- you've known me for so long."

"Bucky, it doesn't matter how long I've known you, we'll take this at whatever speed you want. We can do whatever you want."

"Just this, can we just do this," the man opened his eyes and looked over every inch of his face, "this is perfect."

Clint stroked his fingers through Bucky's hair and he couldn't help but agree with the man. After twenty fucking years, it was perfect.

**Author's Note:**

> This fic was supposed to be a thousand words, it got so far away from me, but I've loved writing it so much!


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